Hellloooo and good Sunday to ya where ever you are at this moment. Dreams were like mini-home movies last night and sleep was not so good. This song, Honey & the Moon, by Joseph Arthur came on and I had to look it up on Youtube. This song reminds me of mornings and mornings remind me of coffee. Why would this remind me of Joseph Arthur? Well, I first heard him on a Starbucks CD compilation. I just spent 20 minutes searching for the CD on Google as it had a great selection of songs. I just laughed because I remember that I really didn’t start drinking coffee until I was in my late 20’s. You see, just after the birth of my youngest son in 1997, I finally became a licensed automobile driver! With my new freedom, I could now work farther from home and my first big girl job at an optical lab that was in North Hollywood, California. That job was 3 freeways from my house in San Gabriel! I had to start drinking coffee in the morning like my Dad, cause that is what all adults did, right? So that is when my coffee addiction began. Thank you to my other “Dad” Ken Beck, he was the manger at the optical lab and he taught me how to make the perfect pot of coffee, at least for his liking and he always bought us kids breakfast and stuff. Oh yeah, I think I spent more money at Starbucks than I care to recall. The Starbucks habit has gone these days and I make coffee at home. Back in those days, Starbucks used to sell compilation CD’s. I bought several as they they were well thought out and put together. One of my favorites was BBQ Beat. I was able to locate that CD on Google. I wore this CD out, back in the day. My head and hips are shaking just hearing (in my head) “Sally go ‘roud the roses…” I am sure my kids would run screaming if they were to hear any of these songs.
I placed the video here so you can play and listen as you read the rest of the post. Like theme music, yeah, yeah….Press play, press play….
Oh yeah, so, Joseph Arthur is a singer-song writer from Akron, Ohio. I follow him on IG and it appears that he is now living in California (Edit: New York). He is also an artist (check out the art work on his albums) and has a successful podcast (Come To Where I’m From). What I like about him are his lyrics and musical style. REM’s singer, Michael Stipe covered Arthur’s In the Sun with Cold Play around 2008. At the end of the performance Stipe says something like “This is the greatest song” or something to that affect. Unfortunately, I could only find a video of Stipe and Chris Martin and not the one that has that last shot of him giving that compliment. Do check Mr. Arthur out.
So, around 2004, I placed an ad on-line dating website as I was having no luck meeting people in real life. My life had just been through the shits. Being a single parent with 4 children (three under the 12 was rough in the romance department. Also, I had a female room mate for a short time and there were rumors that I had a new girlfriend. Yeah, I heard that from my kids. During the on-line dating trial by fire (and brimstone) I met several guys. One of them became my friend. He and I knew each other for 6 years. He was my friend and what ever label could be stuck on us. Sadly he died in 2013. I am happy to report that he died on a couch in Van Nuys, CA probably half naked and probably drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and possibly speaking about the event horizon. No, not happy that he died, though. He and I went through so much during that short time. He was there when I lost my vision and had to be driven home after a trip to the ER. He danced with me on my balcony when I was stood up on my birthday. He used to send me home with little baggies of weed, even though I hardly smoked back then, so I could pass it out to the “kids”at the apartment. He had many faults, don’t get me wrong. I cursed his name more times than I said it in a nice tone. His ex-wife, hated me. It killed her to call me from his phone and let me know that he had fallen from a balcony in 2009 and that he needed to see me. She insulted me for no reason at all because it was her right, after all, he had cheated on her a few years before he had met me, with a “Fat Mexican women” and I was a fat Mexican women. That is what she said to me in the hallway of Little Hospital of Mary in Torrance. Oh wow, I forgotten about that! Before I go any further, Yes, he was a very bad man. He fucked (literally and figuratively) many women. He never hid that fact from any one. He was always honest, to a point. He told me on the first date, “I’m a bad man” but when he talked about his son, his eyes and demeanor changed. That man loved his son more than life itself. He was a self proclaimed bad man but when I drove him to the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center on weekend two years before he died to see his son perform in Seusical, the Musical, I had never seen him more prouder. I know if I do not write about him right at this moment, he will continue to haunt my dreams. His ex-wife, and I get why she was upset, decided to seek full custody. He tried desperately in the last two years of his life to get sober so he could get visitation rights. He would often talk to me about the steps he was going through. He was really ill, though. He also made several drawings and paintings of me. I gave a couple away. I did hold on to a few of his paintings that maybe his son may want. To any of you Moms out there that hate the father of your children for your own reasons what ever they may be, don’t let it cloud your children feelings. You both chose to have sex and it is no secret that sex can produce children. If the asshole (father) is good to the kids, let him be a father, your kids need that. Co-parenting wasn’t a word back then when the boys father and I were going through it. However, I chose, we chose, to not bad mouth each other in front of the kids. I never kept the children from their father. I also never bad mouthed their grandparents, while they were impressionable. Yes, even when I was on the receiving end of some very unfavorable comments I just chose to stay at home and socially distance myself claiming I was ill. So, yeah.
My friend and I bonded over Joseph Arthur, yes, really. The bad man drank so much that he couldn’t drive anywhere. So, anytime we went out, I drove. One day I had the Starbucks CD in and that song came on and he started singing and I started singing. I remember he said, “Alright, Joseph Arthur! Have you heard…” and then we talked about the artist from what I remember. Below are are some of the lyrics from Honey & the Moon
Don’t know why I’m still afraid
If you weren’t real I would make you up
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
As the sea
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Where no one lives
Well, and just like that, the Universe really does have a sense of a humor or at least a sick sense of humor as Your So Vain just started playing and I often used to sing it when he would go on a tirade. Yes, if there is an afterlife, he probably thinks this post is about him…and it is. Uhhhh….
Thank you for going through this with me. Where ever you are today may the sun shine brightly on you. Peace and hope you laugh.