Top o’ the morning to you, where ever you are today. Coming back here has been difficult, but not because there was anything wrong. The last week has been joyfully busy. I know my last post was kind of negative but really, after reading it again I really do need to leave it up there as it really is a record of my pain and how it effects my everyday life without having to go into detail of my pain and all the new normal things that I have to do to appear that I am feeling as fantastic as I portray myself. Yes, all said in one breath. Yeah, it made me sound crazy but really in 2014 I had a few Red Flag symptoms of Cauda Equina Syndrome and nothing was done but it’s right there in my chart in black & white.
These are notes from a March 27, 2014 visit. There are notes about my spinal stenosis. It also disgusts me that they noted further down that I only seemed to want permanent disability. Yes, you caught me, I was in 10 pain and working 10-12 hours a day. Well, okay I am guilty of accepting extra work as I was not a salaried employee as I had been in past jobs and overtime was a huge plus. I did not miss one day of work during that time. I was very sensitive to work place politics as I remember. I used to cry often in the bathroom as I really tried to please my controller and always showed up early for work or would drop everything to help assist in that department as needed. As an auditor, I had to look for mistakes and variances and when I did find an error, I would try to teach the offender how to not make the mistake again. I used to hate having to notify her of any violations. Circumstances made it so I could not continue working there as I requested Flex-time to deal with my youngest sons legal issues. I was denied but one of her superiors in that organization laid me off instead of accepting my resignation. I am thankful for that as I had been in pain for so long and could then take time to make those missed doctor visits because taking off time during month-end was a no-no. So, yes, I am offended by many of these notes. I am not a medical professional but I see some issues on their part. To say that I, a single women, who had a stroke at 21 and also experienced back pain, was only looking for permanent disability feels like a slap in the face. To any of you with CES, stay strong through your trials as some of you will have many trips looking for medical intervention before they figure out that you do in fact have a serious medical issue.
So, as I started to write about was all the excitement around our place this past week. My daughter and grand daughter came from Michigan for a visit. They were here for two days and wished that they wouldn’t have to return home. Unfortunately, my grandson was not able to make the trip. Hopefully soon I will get to visit them in their home state.
It was nice that I was too preoccupied with the baby and my daughter to take any photos while hubby played this past Sunday at the Tack Room. I did take lots of the baby…I am a grama and I think that give me a pass, just sayin’. I will post those to my FB page.
Sadly, behind my chair is an empty high chair and walker that just yesterday the baby had occupied. I really am so proud of her and how she is raising the kids. They both are healthy and strong. I am missing the cuddles and the sticky fingers, sad face. I am sure Jenny our pug is missing them both as well as she stayed close to the baby so she could quickly snort up any dropped baby food. Blessings and good thoughts are going to the airline staff that they will be traveling with today as they had East. Safe travels to everyone traveling today.
One thing I would like to mention is that yesterday, hubby and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. No, we did not do anything fancy, unless you count getting a fancy Starbucks treat. We did however, take a drive to Hermosa Beach, CA. We reminisced about our first kiss that happened on the sand to the right of the pier so many years ago. That place will always be special to me, to us.
I can’t wait to see where the roads will take us in the next three years. My daughter and I talked a lot about a lot this weekend. I really wish to leave my memories and not some bastardized version. There are way too many holes in the history of my Mom and I would like to not leave too many family secrets before I am unable to speak them.
Thank you for stopping by and I wish you well. May the roads you travel on be open and clear. As always, where ever you going, get there.