***This post was actually started two Saturdays ago….
Good morning and happy Saturday! Started out with another thought but got lost in Spotify and their infinite song list. I was feeling a little Southern rockish this morning and it is delivering nicely! It just suggested this band I had never heard of, Redneck Gentlemen, I put a few of their songs on my playlist and will keep an ear out for them. Now it just started playing Dwight Yoakam‘s Thousand Miles from Nowhere and this takes me back to the mid 90’s and taking the bus to Glendale for my surgical tech class. During this time, a good friend of mine was going through a bunch of stuff. He had gotten locked up for a mental health issue and not because he was criminal. He used to find me when he was in trouble no matter where I moved or how many times I would change my number. When ever he was in trouble I could feel it. I remember writing a letter to him just shortly before he started having issues with his the wiring of his brain. I had dreamed about him and he sat on a picnic table in this lush, green park. A fence separated us. He seemed at peace and I remember waking up suddenly and wrote to him to see if he was okay and then forgot about it. I did mail the card to him as he told me that he had received it as few years later. As I mentioned, during this time in the mid 90’s, I did not have a car, I used to take the bus from San Gabriel to Los Angeles and then transfer to another bus to get to Glendale. One of the times he got “locked-up” when he actually needed to be in a mental health facility, his Mom had let me know where he was at and I used to sneak by and visit him. He was there for 3 weeks and luckily he was put in the infirmary. Why was this lucky? I was still in my scrubs when I would show up for visiting hours. I went through check in and had to surrender my belongings to be held for me until I was finished with each visit. Honestly, I was creeped out just being in there and it you could feel the ugliness and sadness. The guards let me stay with him sometimes for an my allotted 15 minutes or sometimes for over an hour. Okay, maybe that is not so lucky but I got to know him and see how ill he was. He still haunts me from time to time in my dreams. Like I said, where ever I moved or how many times I changed my number, he always found me. He once said I just made him feel right when he needed to get away from whatever was going on in his world. I laugh thinking about how I used to get irritated because he had left me during my time off need but I could never turn my back on him because I could never forget how kind he was to me when I first met him in high school. I wasn’t a pretty girl by any means and was used to guys playing jokes on me… Just recently, he came to me in my dreams again. I woke up when I realized it was him and tried desperately to get back to sleep to see if he would come back. I know it was just a dream and most likely my sub conscience wishing that he could have met his grandchildren as he died much to soon. This is why I push on with my project. Pain comes in many forms and I know he was in pain in more ways than anyone could imagine. My only hope is that he found peace and quiet.
The weekend is here. I have had issues sitting as this took me a few tries to write. The last few weeks have been rough and hopefully the procedure I am having in a couple of days will alleviate some of the discomfort. I am walking better although that earthquake that he had last night almost made me fall. My legs are still weak and I was walking to the car when it struck and thought “I am either very high right now or I am going to have a seizure”. I almost fell as it was hard for me to stay upright as the ground felt like I was walking on a moving merry-go-round. My thoughts are with the residents near the epicenter as they have experienced lots of damage.
To you reader have a good day and just breath it will all be okay! Thanks again for stopping by and hope to see you again.
By the way, to the creep that is harassing my family, come after me instead and leave them alone, please. After all, this is really between you and I.