Façades

Singing is something that I do often and am not very good at.  I know, I have been told by many people.  When I used to sing, the boy’s father used to say, “Hey, who sing’s that song?” and I would usually stop singing to say the name of the artist and then he would say “Let’s keep it that way.”  This would make me sing louder and make him laugh more or maybe pick on me more?  He liked to pick on me constantly as I recall, but it didn’t deter me. I kept right on belting it out. Often when I was out driving the kids around with the radio cranked up, we would all be singing and dancing in our seats.  My kids will probably not admit to liking Chumbawumba’s Tubthumping song but that was a favorite back in the day and it would get a howl when it came on the radio in the car and another favorite was Sonora by Harry Belafonte.  I did have a few mix CDs that I had made specifically for the car.  I am thinking of this because I have been going over old photos and editing my website.  I found this picture of me and my boys.  I am busy trying to focus the camera and set up the shot.  Also, I am setting the timer, but jokes on me.

mothers day

This was taken in 2015 in front of Won Kok a dim sum restaurant in China Town (Los Angeles).

It’s funny but that was one of the last car rides that I drove before my license was revoked for seizures in 2016.  I kind of knew that my driving freedom was coming to an end as I was already having issues. However, that photo was taken on the day after Thanksgiving and that white bag on the back of the trunk there held little white fluffy treasures.  These reminded us all of home and times when we had only five bucks and five bucks buys lots of dim sum!   Happy memories I tell ya!  Yeah, life was rough but life is what you make it sometimes even if I was a little abnormal. Sometimes, I long for that restaurant as we can’t get dim sum like that here in the Coachella Valley.  That restaurant often had a less than “A” rating by the county heath department standards. My friends would often make fun of me for eating at that restaurant because of their constant B rating. I always said, “B is for Better!”

Resting is still a hard thing for me to do.  I know that I should be doing it more.  I drove home after the birth of my youngest son.  I had a C-section and his dad had a suspended license.  Anyhow, I couldn’t risk him getting pulled over, so I drove home.  I then went back to work a week later with my son.  I was lucky. The doctor that I worked for let me bring my youngest with me and I could have him in the lab with me while I worked on eye glasses and with patients.  If you follow me, I have mentioned that I was an optician during the first part of my adult(ish) life.  Jeepers!  I was kind of crazy back then as I writing this down.  I had six week to recover back then and didn’t take the time and now men can take paternity leave.  To anybody reading this, TAKE TIME OFF TO RECOVER! It is okay and it does not make you weak it makes you stronger.

So, this is me resting.  I have been going over old shoots since I can’t pursue new clients or actively work shooting.  I figure I can educate myself in editing and fine tune a few shots from past shoots.  Usually, I am not too keen on changing color photos into black and white but am really digging them.  The first two photos were shot in 2018 in Indio, CA.

 

 

The second photo is of Ashley Reinke.  She contacted me in January of this year.  Her shoot was in-trade, which meant “no-pay”.  When she called, I didn’t care, I was bored, hated the job that I was working at and and my back pain was severe.  Honestly, I thought she was joking when she messaged me.  I was embarrassed that I did not have the proper equipment for her but did my best.  Here are a few of my favorite shots of her that I changed into black and white.  I have been working here and there and finding new things to change and like.  It may not have been a successful shoot in my eyes but I can use it for learning and practice.

 

What I am doing right now is what I guess I have been doing my whole life.  Faking it, until I make it, right?  With no training and no more than a cheap camera.  Gosh that felt cleansing.  I see all these people through social media touting their good fortunes and scores.  How much of it is real?  Forgive me, I may be speaking through a little pain but it’s honest if anything.  Right now at this point I am starting over with everything because that is what it feels like.  All I know is that I see things in my head before they even happen and before my finger even hits the trigger.  I know the models must hate me ’cause I don’t give much direction I just know the shot because I will feel it.

Anyhow, I am rambling on this morning.  Thank you for stopping by and may you have a peaceful easy Saturday.

 

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